


gently now, and slow

by celestialbisexual



Category: Archive 81 (Podcast)
Genre: Bickering, Domesticity, M/M, cooking together, extremely soft, if I can't have static man in a band then i most certainly will have shitty poet static man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 11:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19208866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialbisexual/pseuds/celestialbisexual
Summary: “So have you like, exclusively dated hipsters, or they just the only ones you have stories about.”“I went to a small liberal arts college in New York where I studied history. The dating pool there is like ninety percent hipsters.” Nicholas replied. “And then there’s you.”





	gently now, and slow

**Author's Note:**

> discord made me do it

“Have you ever made popcorn on the stove?” Static Man asked. He was sitting on the countertop, swinging his not-legs back and forth. Periodically they would phase through the cabinet below them. It was a little disorienting, and Nicholas forced his attention back to the pasta, measuring out more oregano and throwing it into the sauce. 

 

“I have not. I had an ex who used to though. He swore it was better than on the microwave. Pass me the ground beef.” Static Man handed it over with a snort. 

 

“So have you like, exclusively dated hipsters, or they just the only ones you have stories about.” 

 

“I went to a small liberal arts college in New York where I studied history. The dating pool there is like ninety percent hipsters.” Nicholas replied. “And then there’s you.” 

 

“I am not a hipster!” Static Man protested. Nicholas just smiled and went back to stirring the sauce. Static Man leapt off the counter and stalked towards him. “I am  _ not  _ a hipster.” 

 

“I’ve read your poetry.” Nicholas reminded him, leaning with his back to the stovetop. “You can’t lie to me.”

 

“That is not- Poetry isn’t- I never-” Static Man spluttered, before abruptly changing tacks. “Oh yeah, and what about you, Mr. “Thorough-Knowledge-of-the-Magnetic-Fields-Discography?”

 

Static Man towered over him, doing what was probably his very best attempt at menacing. It probably would have worked on someone who hadn’t seen him weep inky tears over  _ The Lady and The Tramp _ .

 

“I think you’re both insufferable hipsters, for what it’s worth.” The Clerk said, breezing past them towards the table. “I found wine in one of the back store rooms, and it’s probably safe for human consumption. I’ll set the table.” 

 

They watched her go, then turned back to each other, each trying to keep their faces straight. Nicholas cracked first, collapsing into laughter, with Static Man following soon after.

 

“I’ll put the salad and bread out.” Static Man said. He pecked Nicholas on the mouth before turning to go. “Try not to burn the spaghetti.” 

 

“That was one time!” Nicholas called at his retreating partner, before turning back to the stove. “Asshole.”

 

“I heard that!” 


End file.
